For my girls who keep it real...
Current mood: enlightened
Category: Religion and Philosophy
Ok, so I was all logged off for the night, when I remembered that I just had to write about something that occurred to me today...I need to show you how very sordid the human mind can be...and what better example than by using my own?
For those of you who know me well, you are aware of 2 things about me...first, I am very open and honest about my shortcomings...it is no secret what I struggle with...second, I am not able to naturally get pregnant (I will need surgery or in vitro when the time is right)...so knowing these 2 things as well as I do, help me to figure out why my brain processes the way it does...
I missed my period last month. It happens from time to time because of my left fallopian tube being severed. I had that surgery like 7 years ago, so you think I'd be used to missing my period e'ry now and again. Nope! I immediately began wracking my memory trying to see if I had had unprotected sex recently. I hadn't, but why did I wonder at all?? I know it wouldn't have mattered.
You know what God told me...He is so crazy, but so right...lol...He said, "you worry because you still trust Me to perform a miracle and heal you." Isn't that insane?? Absolutely, but it just shows me that despite my sin and foolishness, God knows my heart...Of course I still trust that He can heal me...What would I do if He actually did and I was not in the ideal situation (married lol)??
As a student at PBU, we have to sign a behavior contract which essentially lists their standard of conduct...a comprehensive list of things we should not partake of...I begrudgingly signed it...knowing the struggle that I would face...And of course, when you decide to try and behave, a door opens up for all hell to break loose...I have the house to myself for 4 days...normally I'd be having a "sleepover" for sure...but God had my back...lol...I got my period this morning...Good looking out, Father!!
Love y'all...
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