Lemme lemme update ya...lol...

It's funny how things can change sooner than you expect them to do so. In my last post, I was quite sad and confused. This week I am the polar opposite. When I was first going through this break up, I was told to either give it time or give up altogether. I chose to do neither. Well, I'm kinda giving things time, but not from afar.

Like I've said to him and others, it is not every day you have an easy relationship so I'm not giving up on it! We have talked a lot and clarified some things. We're still processing, but I consider us we are back together. Things will continue to progress, albeit at a slower pace.

I look at my initial reactions to this situation and laugh at myself. It could have been so much worse, but I did some rash things that I wish I hadn't. Nothing serious that I'd regret, but just silly stuff like throwing out things that remind me of him. Thankfully, my stubbornness kicked in and I realized I was not willing to just let things end.

One of the good things that has come out of all this is that I was able to see some exes for what they really are: wastes of time. I have always maintained good friendships with guys I have dated. I just don't see the point in losing the good parts of our relationships. As soon as my tears hit the floor, there were a few who swarmed in and tried to take advantage of my emotional state. When I did not give in to these advances and suggestions, they quickly fell off and carried on with their other conquests. It sucks that guys I considered friends would turn out to be so opportunistic. They had their shots with me, it obviously didn't work, so why would I yield to them now?? I gladly dismissed them.

As of right now, I am looking forward to some more travels. I will be heading down to Florida to see my momma and maybe some wonderful ladies from Twitter. Then I will be returning to Texas. Hopefully this trip will be much more enjoyable and have a happy ending.  (I'm pretty sure it will...)

What's In a Name?

I've accumulated quite a few nicknames over the years. I think it would be fun to try to identify them and their origin. This will probably give you a little TMI though, so if you don't want to know too much, don't read this LOL.

• Kimmer, Kimber Doodles - these are names my parents and siblings call me.
• Kimbo - I got this one in 3rd or 4th grade because my brother went through a "Rambo" stage where he would dress and act like Rambo at school.
• Fly Girl - no not because I could dance (ie. In Living Color), but because my friend Kelly took a pic of me with my zipper open.
• Sainberg - My high school yearbook advisor called me this. It's a combo of my and my assistant editor's last names.
• Chicken - My best girls in high school and I were driving to a friends house when I saw chickens running around in someone's yard. I stopped the car and yelled out "Chicken!" It stuck.
• Lil Kim - obviously when she came out, I adopted this persona for a few years
• Miss Kim - when I started going to church all the kids called me this. Apparently this is church speak.
• White Woman -my friend Ken called me this when I was the only "white woman" on the gospel choir and at our church.
• Mom - need I say more? This is prolly my fave cuz I definitely earned it. I am proof that you do not have to give birth to be a parent.
• Aunt Kim - my God-kids and nieces and nephews all call me this
• Nyquil - A guy I dated called me this cuz I always put him to sleep.
• Trouble - again, self-explanatory lol
• Sitter - my sister calls me this, prolly cuz it sounds cuter than sister.
• Sweets, Buttercup - A guy I dated called me these cuz I guess I'm sweet.
• Ray Allen - A friend called me this cuz I always come through with the clutch shot
• Kimmie Kim Kim - two guys I dated call me that. No idea why LOL
• Kim Kim Kachew - another creative spin on my name.
• Satan - my brother thinks our last name sounds like this so he calls me by it LOL

This is just off the top of my head. I am pretty sure there are a few I am forgetting. And prolly a few I am not aware of as well LOL.

What are some of your favorite nicknames??

Have Love, Will Travel...

In yesterday's blog, I looked at how it's a small world here in Delaware because no one seems to leave home. It plagues me that with so much in the world to see, folk would rather keep it local. Delaware is a nice place to live, no doubt, but if I had to choose between living it up here (eating/drinking out, shopping, movies, etc.) and traveling elsewhere, I'd choose the latter every time. I'm a travel junkie. I love the excitement of planning a trip and the anticipation of that day arriving. I enjoy learning the roads or the public transportation routes to get me where I'm trying to go. If I could travel somewhere every month I would be complete!

I traveled a lot this year. Like a LOT. Semi-locally I went to Lancaster and Philly in PA; and Somerset, Hackettstown (pic at right is the road to Hackettstown), Princeton, Lindenwold and Atlantic City in NJ. Those were day trips and were relatively cheap. To get there I either borrowed or rented a car (which required gas & toll money) and had a meal with my sister or friends. Total cost ran between $30 and $100 for each of these travels. That is well worth it to spend time with people that I love.

This was the year of big trips though. I can't remember the last time I flew so often. In May I went to St. Pete, FL with my family for a long Memorial Day weekend (as I mentioned in a previous post). We stayed on the beach, visited with gramma (pic on left) and had a "funeral" for our family dog. I also tossed in a short road trip to have lunch with my friend Stephanie in Orlando at Downtown Disney while I was down there. I believe my mom paid for everything for this trip so my costs were minimal.

In August, I went on a "business trip" to Houston with my boyfriend at the time. He paid for all my expenses to drive his truck home to Philly. I spent the night in Knoxville, TN so that was nice. Later that month I took the train to Alexandria, VA to visit my cousin Johnny for his birthday. My gramma and uncle were flying up as well so it was a nice family weekend. We went to Mt. Vernon which was really interesting (pic on right). I had never met Johnny's wife and kids so I thought it was worth the venture. All I paid for was my train ticket, which was about $100.

My dad's birthday was in September, so I flew to Chicago to spend a long weekend with him, his girlfriend, and my brothers. It was a last minute trip and I hadn't alerted my dad before hand so we didn't do much. He and his gf are fabulous hosts and cooked an amazing dinner on his birthday. My brother and I ventured downtown (pic on left), went to the park, and did some shopping. This trip was almost the most expensive since I paid for everything. I'd say I spent $400.

This next trip was so exciting and so necessary. In October, I decided to fly down to Texas to meet this man from Twitter that I felt was fulfilling all my requirements. This was a great trip because it was action packed. There was so much going on that weekend. We stayed in a really nice hotel (see pic) that was right across from the infamous Alamo. We went to a Spurs game on Halloween and watched my Eagles slaughter the Giants. I had never been to San Antonio and I was greatly impressed by the RiverWalk. I even did some sight-seeing on my own before I left and felt so comfortable walking the streets. Best trip of the year, hands down. I paid for my flight and my cab to the airport so it cost me about $275.

The longest trip of the year was for Thanksgiving. My uncle invited us all to his house in the mountains to celebrate gramma's 75th birthday and turkey day. With mom covering our hotel room, I rented a car (the retarded firetruck) and drove down with my brother. After four+ days in Maggie Valley, NC, my brothers, Crystal and I traveled down to Atlanta for the weekend. We made a stop near Greenville, SC to have lunch with one of my best girlfriends. While in Atlanta I was introduced to being a couchsurfer. Football is important to us all so we went to the Fox Sports Grill (at the advice of my friends on Twitter) to watch the early games. On Monday we went to the largest Aquarium in the world where I stood in awe at the big tank before we headed home. Road trips are always fun but the drive home to NJ then DE was a long one. This trip cost me a pretty penny at about $350.

My last trip was actually a visit from my Texas man. While he was here in December, we went to a Sixers game to see Iverson back in his Philly uniform (see him shooting a FT in pic on right). We also went to Atlantic City to celebrate my girlfriend's birthday. We partied it up at the Tropicana and the Borgata. It was a short weekend, but we had a blast. I paid for the rental car (gas) and breakfast, so this was a cheap trip for me at $150.

Here's the kicker. Most folk won't travel like I do because it costs money. I might have spent about $1700+ all year taking these trips. That might seem a lot to some people, but to me it is a great investment in the relationships I cherish. And I did all this on a minimal income. I'm a student. I haven't worked full time in almost a year. Yes, some of my trips to see family were partially paid for by my mom, but the major ones were not.

I mentioned at the start of this blog that I would rather travel than spend money enjoying life where I live. Think about it. How much do you spend a year locally eating out, going to the movies/clubs/bars, shopping, etc? I hardly ever go out locally. I treat myself from time to time, but most folk go out every weekend. I live in Delaware by myself (no family or close friends nearby). So in order to maintain my relationships, I must travel. It's so worth it.

It's a Small World After All...

I am always amazed at how small this world really is at times. Living in "Dela-where" makes it even smaller. Everyone knows everybody and all their business. You can't hide your dirt here. Everywhere I go, I run into someone I know: at the mall, church, restaurants, or just walking downtown. Maybe its because I know of a lot more people, places and things than most, having gone to UD, been a member at several churches and worked for several companies here. It just astounds me that Delaware is such a small state, that it actually has a small town feel. Any who, here are two quick DE stories:

• Yesterday, my roomie and I went to the main mall in Northern Delaware. It is newly renovated and she hadn't been to see it yet. We were hoping that the Cheesecake Factory was open, but it was not, so we got some lunch at Suki Hana, the best Chinese joint around, and sat in the food court talking. This guy that sat down next to us looked like one of my exes and I mentioned to her that I had the hardest time remembering his full name recently. {This particular ex was actually just a boo (see the Relationship Hierarchy via Blackie Collins) around this time last year. He did something totally appalling in my presence so I did an extreme mental/online deletion of him from my life, hence forgetting his name.} So roomie rattled off her current/recent list of boos and their last names. One of them stood out to me and I asked if she knew if he was related to a lady with the same last name. She wasn't sure, as she had not met his family, so she text him to find out. As we're walking through the mall, they exchange numerous texts concerning this woman I know (and do not care for at all) and whether she is his relative. He wanted to know why I asked and how I know her. Ding! I knew then that they were related. As it turns out, this obnoxious woman I know is actually his mother! LOL I can't take back the negative things I told roomie about her now. SMH...
  

• I used to waitress at Red Robin when I first moved back to Delaware after my divorce. One night I was waiting on a table of regulars that were quite difficult at times with their special requests and pickiness. I was determined to make a good impression and get a good tip, besides one of them was cute and I was single. It was almost closing time, and they were my only table so I had plenty of time to chat them up. The cute one saw me using my cell and asked to see it. At the time I had the Sony Ericcson Walkman and he wanted to see what music I had on there. He proceeded to look through my music and also ventured into my photos. When he saw a certain photo, he asked who it was. I identified it as a pic of my ex-husband and youngest stepson. The look on his face was priceless. He asked his name and I told him. He looked at his brother and they bust out laughing. Now I was paranoid; how could this fine young man know who my ex was?? Well, apparently they went to church together for awhile and this guy not only knew my ex (and his bad habits), but also knew my kids, as well as my nieces and nephews. I was kind of embarrassed because when first meeting someone and trying to make a good impression, I don't really like to associate myself with my ex or his past. But there was no hiding it.
  

When I think of happy "small world" circumstances, I usually find those online. I have made friends all over the country via networking online. The conversations are great as we get to know each other and find out what similarities we can bond over. I have lived in several different states (North Jersey, South Jersey {yes, they are different "states" to us} DE, SC and FL) and have traveled pretty extensively in the States so I can relate with folk from a lot of places. Plus, my interests give me lots to talk about (sports, church, singing, etc.). As I continue to travel and share my life with others, I share their experiences and my world gets even smaller. For instance, my brother is traveling the world right now and I am experiencing things from India, Thailand and other countries through him, thus expanding my horizon.

Though it seems at times that this is a small world, it truly depends on our individual context or experiences. If you never leave the town you grew up in, your world will be incredibly small. Our network of friends multiplies daily as we travel or get involved online, and by our life's end, we could possibly have known several thousand people personally. Several thousand family and friends is nothing compared to the billions of people on the Earth right this second, or the multiple billions that have lived here before us. Yet only God knows them all.

As I was writing this, I remembered something I had seen a few years ago that perfectly portrayed just how small things are. I want to share a video with you that examines the minuteness of this planet (and those of us living here) but also how unique and miraculous each of us are. I was privileged to see Louie Giglio share this live at the Chris Tomlin concert I attended in 2007. It totally blew me away and changed my perspective on life. This video is lengthy, but it is very interesting. If you like Science, you will love this. (Yes, Science and Faith do mix!) Of course, I am already a believer in God, so its sermonic ending didn't bother me. If you're not interested in the "church" part, stop viewing at 26:15...Enjoy!

VIEW VIDEO