Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Election Day Woes

So today is Election Day in America. I am 32 years old and have never voted. Ever. Apparently I am the reason that Bush won a second term. If I had only voted, we would not have had to endure his idiocracy. Yeah I made that up.

I'm feeling kind of ehh about not voting now. I've registered before. But the one time I actually was going to vote (2000), I got caught up playing mommy and wife and didn't make it in time. Needless to say, it was never a priority. I've tried to figure out why that is and this is what I think: When I was a kid, my dad and uncle would discuss politics and get into these heated discussions, almost arguments. It used to scare me anytime I heard my dad raise his voice, so I always equated politics with being a bad thing. As a result, I never took the time to do the research I think is necessary to make a good choice. So, on one hand I had bad feelings associated with politics, and on the other, I couldn't make an educated decision if I tried.

Another issue I've had is picking a party. When I did register, it was as an Independent. That was only because I couldn't decide whether I was a donkey or elephant. Apparently Independent is another party all in itself. Why must I pick a party???? Can't I just register and vote however I want?? I grew up in a lower-middle class family, so I agree with a lot of Democratic views. I also became spiritually invested as an adult so I agree with some of the Republican views as well. There seems to be no party that is fully aligned with my beliefs and experience (maybe there is, I really don't know).

Knowing that I would have to thoroughly educate myself before making a decision on who to vote for, I became overwhelmed at the notion. Taking into consideration that all politicians lie and smear their opponents, it just seemed easier to throw my hands up and leave this daunting task to the masses. It is disheartening, however, to know there are folk who voted today strictly Dem or strictly Rep just because it's what they were told to do by their momma or pastor. And how many people voted based on how they want the country to be run and not what would be best for all who live here?

Finally, I get tired of hearing about how many people died for my right to vote. That argument is usually targeted at African Americans, but I know women had to fight for that right as well. And Americans as a whole fought for the right to vote when they won their independence from the British monarchy. I get it. Being a citizen means you get to vote. But I think it also means you have a choice not to vote. If I don't agree with any of the candidates, why would I choose to help elect them? Or should I pick the lesser of two evils just because I have the right? I would think that by electing anyone that I don't think will do a good job makes me just as bad as them. It also encourages them to keep doing what they are, or are not, doing once in office.

Imagine if Americans refused to vote until an honest and legit candidate was put on the ballot....Of course that would never happen. So I will carry on with my non-voting ways and feel good about myself for not adding to the embarrassment that is our government.

Monday, November 1, 2010


It's been 6+ months since I've blogged here. I tend to disappear from writing when I need to do it the most. Blame Twitter and Tumblr. Shorter posts are more attractive to me lately. I've been through a lot since my last post and really should have processed some of my thoughts and feelings. Having recognized this, I am here now. I will post regularly again. Gotta get ready for the Year In Review. In the meantime, check out my Tumblr and Twitter for what I've been doing.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Hometown Pride

During the trip to Florida for my uncle's funeral I realized something, albeit for the second time: My family (for the most part) loves and is loyal to our hometown sports teams. My uncle had all kinds of Phillies and Eagles paraphernalia around his house. It made me feel all warm inside to know I was a part of this legacy of fans.

What's funny is that I'm not actually from Philly. So how did this happen? My dad was born in Chester. My mom's grandparents lived in a Philly suburb. We actually grew up in South Jersey, about 30 minutes outside of Philly.  Very few of us are left in the hometown vicinity anymore. So now there are Philadelphia fans in Florida, DC, Kentucky, California, Chicago, North Carolina and beyond.

I think we were forced to claim Philly because the Philadelphia area is so small and includes New Jersey and Delaware in it's radius. There are no sports teams in South Jersey and North Jersey (home of the Nets, Devils, Giants & Jets - yeah, I said it!) is just too far away to attend games regularly. They also don't show those games in our viewing area (proving that NJ is actually two different states in one).

I was a team hopper throughout middle and high school. I was a fan of the Bulls, Cowboys, Raiders, Dodgers, and White Sox at one point or another. It wasn't until the Eagles drafted Donovan McNabb that I became a fan of Philadelphia again. One of my friends went to Syracuse and played with McNabb so I felt that was good enough to get my attention. And it's been a ride-or-die relationship ever since. About that same time I decided I was going to support all Philly teams. Allen Iverson was just blowing up with the Sixers so it seemed perfect to me.

Philly teams take a lot of flack for sucking. The Phillies actually became the losingest team in sports history in 2007 by accumulating 10,000 losses. And yet, Philadelphia is the only North American city in which all of its teams (Eagles, Phillies, Flyers and 76ers) from the four major sports leagues have played for their respective championships in one year, 1980. Only the Phillies actually won, though. Thankfully, the Phillies won again in 2008 and returned in 2009 to try for the repeat. Both the Eagles and Sixers have flirted with the championship over the past 11 years.  Yet, no matter how often they get my hopes up, only to dash them in the playoffs, I will always bleed Eagle green.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Bish I will cut you!

I've never been in a physical fight before. I've been pushed, and grabbed up by both arms, even wrestled a bit, but never have hit someone or been hit. I'm afraid of pain. I quit playing softball in high school because they were pitching too fast and I didn't want to risk getting hit with the ball. I played defense in soccer because I was too afraid to play against the other teams' defenses and be slide tackled. I don't like pain. I'm a wuss. I've got no problems admitting that. My weapons of choice are usually logic and sarcasm. But mess with my family and apparently I will snap.

Tonight my family was verbally assaulted by a bitter crackhead (not exaggerating at all) and I have never been closer to throwing a punch. In my family, I have always considered myself a few levels above the rest of my bloodline. I graduated high school (most of them got GED's), I am in college, I've never done drugs and I've never been to jail. I can also handle my liquor and keep my cursing to a minimum. So after my cousin ushered my rowdy aunts in the house to keep ish from going down tonight, no one was more surprised than me when I jumped up and ran out the door after the woman maliciously berating my family.

I was calling the police when a family friend knocked on the door to come inside. As I was closing the door behind him, I heard this bish say something absolutely horrendous about MY mother, who wasn't even there to defend herself. Next thing I know, I'm outside in her face with the cops on the phone. As she continued to spew her hate on us, I continued to talk to the cops, fearing that if I hit her they would hear it and I'd be catching a charge. I swear to God that it was only His grace that kept me. After she finally drove off (before the cops came of course) I was shaking with adrenaline. My mom called to find out what was happening and I tried not to cry. Then the cops arrived and gave us a hearty *Kanye shrug* while telling us that there was nothing they could do.

After it was all over, I couldn't hold it in any more. The tears fell as I was overcome with emotion. I couldn't believe that someone actually provoked me to want to punch stomp cut do some bodily harm to them. Nor could I believe that I jumped so quickly to the defense of my family. I normally sit back and poke fun at how trifling they act at times. No one else can talk bad about them but me though. That may not make sense, but no one else has been there through the good times and bad like I have. Nobody else has earned the right to drop a negative opinion on things they weren't around to witness. This is MY family, bish, I WILL cut you!! (I say that in jest, I do not own any weapons LOL.)

My family is crazy. But they are mine. We love each other. And nothing will ever change that.

RIP Uncle John

Thursday, April 1, 2010


I like to think of myself as an open book. I don't have any qualms about sharing personal stories or information. No, I don't hand out my SSN and birth date to everyone I meet, but I'm pretty open in my opinion. But how open is too open?

If you ask my boyfriend, he will tell you I am crazy, as he is the polar opposite of myself. He shares as little as possible with the general population. And he shares only pertinent facts with his friends. You literally must be in his inner circle to know anything about him. For instance, on Facebook, he won't change his relationship status from single, though we've been together for 5+ months now. He just doesn't want certain folk all up in his personal business. I can respect that. It doesn't make our relationship any less valid.

Check my Facebook and (if you are my friend) you will find that there are a dozen ways to contact me listed, hundreds of pictures, regular status updates and nearly 600 friends. It pretty much represents my whole life. I like to have a good network. I've got friends all across the country, so if I ever need anything from Alaska or Washington DC, I know who to ask. I'm also open on Facebook, because I only add people I'm connected with most of the time. I would say that 90% of my friends on there, I know in real life. The rest are sorority sisters across the country, friends I made on Twitter or family in other countries - all of whom I would love to meet one day.

Recently I had an issue with my personal information getting into the wrong hands. I accepted a friend request from a guy I knew on Twitter. He proceeded to try to add me to his Yahoo IM, Google Talk, foursquare, etc. I only granted the Google Talk request because I rarely use that. He persisted with requests on foursquare and I got fed up. (Foursquare is a cross between a friend-finder, a social city-guide and a game that rewards you for doing interesting things.) I really didn't want this guy knowing my every move. So I deleted and blocked him from every site. He knows I have a boyfriend, so I felt disrespected with his desire to have all access to me. That is reserved for close family/friends and the boyfriend.

Even here in this blog, I get pretty personal and share things that I don't have to. I made sure to ask the man what was OK to share about us so as not to offend or disrespect him. Obviously with that whole break up debacle I went a little overboard, but he understood. He actually enjoys my openness and supports me.

I guess the difference between him and I is that while he limits information, I limit access. There are only a handful of folk that get the all-access, 24-hour pass. I think it's important to be available for certain folk. If I know someone is going through a tough time and may need to talk at random hours, I give them a trial pass. It's part of the counselor in me. But I am aware that I have boundary issues. I'm working on it.

One of the reasons I am so open is because for the duration of my marriage (8 years) I had to live a double life. I couldn't be 100% honest with family and friends about what was going on behind closed doors. The guilt and shame made me very depressed. That is not a place I want to revisit. So, nothing, well very few things, are secret in my life now. I feel like my openness helps others to deal with their personal issues. It's always nice to know you're not struggling through something no one can relate to.

So, with all of the ways to communicate today, how much information is simply T.M.I.??