During the trip to Florida for my uncle's funeral I realized something, albeit for the second time: My family (for the most part) loves and is loyal to our hometown sports teams. My uncle had all kinds of Phillies and Eagles paraphernalia around his house. It made me feel all warm inside to know I was a part of this legacy of fans.
What's funny is that I'm not actually from Philly. So how did this happen? My dad was born in Chester. My mom's grandparents lived in a Philly suburb. We actually grew up in South Jersey, about 30 minutes outside of Philly. Very few of us are left in the hometown vicinity anymore. So now there are Philadelphia fans in Florida, DC, Kentucky, California, Chicago, North Carolina and beyond.
I think we were forced to claim Philly because the Philadelphia area is so small and includes New Jersey and Delaware in it's radius. There are no sports teams in South Jersey and North Jersey (home of the Nets, Devils, Giants & Jets - yeah, I said it!) is just too far away to attend games regularly. They also don't show those games in our viewing area (proving that NJ is actually two different states in one).
I was a team hopper throughout middle and high school. I was a fan of the Bulls, Cowboys, Raiders, Dodgers, and White Sox at one point or another. It wasn't until the Eagles drafted Donovan McNabb that I became a fan of Philadelphia again. One of my friends went to Syracuse and played with McNabb so I felt that was good enough to get my attention. And it's been a ride-or-die relationship ever since. About that same time I decided I was going to support all Philly teams. Allen Iverson was just blowing up with the Sixers so it seemed perfect to me.
Philly teams take a lot of flack for sucking. The Phillies actually became the losingest team in sports history in 2007 by accumulating 10,000 losses. And yet, Philadelphia is the only North American city in which all of its teams (Eagles, Phillies, Flyers and 76ers) from the four major sports leagues have played for their respective championships in one year, 1980. Only the Phillies actually won, though. Thankfully, the Phillies won again in 2008 and returned in 2009 to try for the repeat. Both the Eagles and Sixers have flirted with the championship over the past 11 years. Yet, no matter how often they get my hopes up, only to dash them in the playoffs, I will always bleed Eagle green.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Bish I will cut you!
I've never been in a physical fight before. I've been pushed, and grabbed up by both arms, even wrestled a bit, but never have hit someone or been hit. I'm afraid of pain. I quit playing softball in high school because they were pitching too fast and I didn't want to risk getting hit with the ball. I played defense in soccer because I was too afraid to play against the other teams' defenses and be slide tackled. I don't like pain. I'm a wuss. I've got no problems admitting that. My weapons of choice are usually logic and sarcasm. But mess with my family and apparently I will snap.
Tonight my family was verbally assaulted by a bitter crackhead (not exaggerating at all) and I have never been closer to throwing a punch. In my family, I have always considered myself a few levels above the rest of my bloodline. I graduated high school (most of them got GED's), I am in college, I've never done drugs and I've never been to jail. I can also handle my liquor and keep my cursing to a minimum. So after my cousin ushered my rowdy aunts in the house to keep ish from going down tonight, no one was more surprised than me when I jumped up and ran out the door after the woman maliciously berating my family.
I was calling the police when a family friend knocked on the door to come inside. As I was closing the door behind him, I heard this bish say something absolutely horrendous about MY mother, who wasn't even there to defend herself. Next thing I know, I'm outside in her face with the cops on the phone. As she continued to spew her hate on us, I continued to talk to the cops, fearing that if I hit her they would hear it and I'd be catching a charge. I swear to God that it was only His grace that kept me. After she finally drove off (before the cops came of course) I was shaking with adrenaline. My mom called to find out what was happening and I tried not to cry. Then the cops arrived and gave us a hearty *Kanye shrug* while telling us that there was nothing they could do.
After it was all over, I couldn't hold it in any more. The tears fell as I was overcome with emotion. I couldn't believe that someone actually provoked me to want topunch stomp cut do some bodily harm to them. Nor could I believe that I jumped so quickly to the defense of my family. I normally sit back and poke fun at how trifling they act at times. No one else can talk bad about them but me though. That may not make sense, but no one else has been there through the good times and bad like I have. Nobody else has earned the right to drop a negative opinion on things they weren't around to witness. This is MY family, bish, I WILL cut you!! (I say that in jest, I do not own any weapons LOL.)
My family is crazy. But they are mine. We love each other. And nothing will ever change that.
RIP Uncle John
Tonight my family was verbally assaulted by a bitter crackhead (not exaggerating at all) and I have never been closer to throwing a punch. In my family, I have always considered myself a few levels above the rest of my bloodline. I graduated high school (most of them got GED's), I am in college, I've never done drugs and I've never been to jail. I can also handle my liquor and keep my cursing to a minimum. So after my cousin ushered my rowdy aunts in the house to keep ish from going down tonight, no one was more surprised than me when I jumped up and ran out the door after the woman maliciously berating my family.
I was calling the police when a family friend knocked on the door to come inside. As I was closing the door behind him, I heard this bish say something absolutely horrendous about MY mother, who wasn't even there to defend herself. Next thing I know, I'm outside in her face with the cops on the phone. As she continued to spew her hate on us, I continued to talk to the cops, fearing that if I hit her they would hear it and I'd be catching a charge. I swear to God that it was only His grace that kept me. After she finally drove off (before the cops came of course) I was shaking with adrenaline. My mom called to find out what was happening and I tried not to cry. Then the cops arrived and gave us a hearty *Kanye shrug* while telling us that there was nothing they could do.
After it was all over, I couldn't hold it in any more. The tears fell as I was overcome with emotion. I couldn't believe that someone actually provoked me to want to
My family is crazy. But they are mine. We love each other. And nothing will ever change that.
RIP Uncle John
Thursday, April 1, 2010
T.M.I.
I like to think of myself as an open book. I don't have any qualms about sharing personal stories or information. No, I don't hand out my SSN and birth date to everyone I meet, but I'm pretty open in my opinion. But how open is too open?
If you ask my boyfriend, he will tell you I am crazy, as he is the polar opposite of myself. He shares as little as possible with the general population. And he shares only pertinent facts with his friends. You literally must be in his inner circle to know anything about him. For instance, on Facebook, he won't change his relationship status from single, though we've been together for 5+ months now. He just doesn't want certain folk all up in his personal business. I can respect that. It doesn't make our relationship any less valid.
Check my Facebook and (if you are my friend) you will find that there are a dozen ways to contact me listed, hundreds of pictures, regular status updates and nearly 600 friends. It pretty much represents my whole life. I like to have a good network. I've got friends all across the country, so if I ever need anything from Alaska or Washington DC, I know who to ask. I'm also open on Facebook, because I only add people I'm connected with most of the time. I would say that 90% of my friends on there, I know in real life. The rest are sorority sisters across the country, friends I made on Twitter or family in other countries - all of whom I would love to meet one day.
Recently I had an issue with my personal information getting into the wrong hands. I accepted a friend request from a guy I knew on Twitter. He proceeded to try to add me to his Yahoo IM, Google Talk, foursquare, etc. I only granted the Google Talk request because I rarely use that. He persisted with requests on foursquare and I got fed up. (Foursquare is a cross between a friend-finder, a social city-guide and a game that rewards you for doing interesting things.) I really didn't want this guy knowing my every move. So I deleted and blocked him from every site. He knows I have a boyfriend, so I felt disrespected with his desire to have all access to me. That is reserved for close family/friends and the boyfriend.
Even here in this blog, I get pretty personal and share things that I don't have to. I made sure to ask the man what was OK to share about us so as not to offend or disrespect him. Obviously with that whole break up debacle I went a little overboard, but he understood. He actually enjoys my openness and supports me.
I guess the difference between him and I is that while he limits information, I limit access. There are only a handful of folk that get the all-access, 24-hour pass. I think it's important to be available for certain folk. If I know someone is going through a tough time and may need to talk at random hours, I give them a trial pass. It's part of the counselor in me. But I am aware that I have boundary issues. I'm working on it.
One of the reasons I am so open is because for the duration of my marriage (8 years) I had to live a double life. I couldn't be 100% honest with family and friends about what was going on behind closed doors. The guilt and shame made me very depressed. That is not a place I want to revisit. So, nothing, well very few things, are secret in my life now. I feel like my openness helps others to deal with their personal issues. It's always nice to know you're not struggling through something no one can relate to.
So, with all of the ways to communicate today, how much information is simply T.M.I.??
If you ask my boyfriend, he will tell you I am crazy, as he is the polar opposite of myself. He shares as little as possible with the general population. And he shares only pertinent facts with his friends. You literally must be in his inner circle to know anything about him. For instance, on Facebook, he won't change his relationship status from single, though we've been together for 5+ months now. He just doesn't want certain folk all up in his personal business. I can respect that. It doesn't make our relationship any less valid.
Check my Facebook and (if you are my friend) you will find that there are a dozen ways to contact me listed, hundreds of pictures, regular status updates and nearly 600 friends. It pretty much represents my whole life. I like to have a good network. I've got friends all across the country, so if I ever need anything from Alaska or Washington DC, I know who to ask. I'm also open on Facebook, because I only add people I'm connected with most of the time. I would say that 90% of my friends on there, I know in real life. The rest are sorority sisters across the country, friends I made on Twitter or family in other countries - all of whom I would love to meet one day.
Recently I had an issue with my personal information getting into the wrong hands. I accepted a friend request from a guy I knew on Twitter. He proceeded to try to add me to his Yahoo IM, Google Talk, foursquare, etc. I only granted the Google Talk request because I rarely use that. He persisted with requests on foursquare and I got fed up. (Foursquare is a cross between a friend-finder, a social city-guide and a game that rewards you for doing interesting things.) I really didn't want this guy knowing my every move. So I deleted and blocked him from every site. He knows I have a boyfriend, so I felt disrespected with his desire to have all access to me. That is reserved for close family/friends and the boyfriend.
Even here in this blog, I get pretty personal and share things that I don't have to. I made sure to ask the man what was OK to share about us so as not to offend or disrespect him. Obviously with that whole break up debacle I went a little overboard, but he understood. He actually enjoys my openness and supports me.
I guess the difference between him and I is that while he limits information, I limit access. There are only a handful of folk that get the all-access, 24-hour pass. I think it's important to be available for certain folk. If I know someone is going through a tough time and may need to talk at random hours, I give them a trial pass. It's part of the counselor in me. But I am aware that I have boundary issues. I'm working on it.
One of the reasons I am so open is because for the duration of my marriage (8 years) I had to live a double life. I couldn't be 100% honest with family and friends about what was going on behind closed doors. The guilt and shame made me very depressed. That is not a place I want to revisit. So, nothing, well very few things, are secret in my life now. I feel like my openness helps others to deal with their personal issues. It's always nice to know you're not struggling through something no one can relate to.
So, with all of the ways to communicate today, how much information is simply T.M.I.??
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
A place where I can....
I'm finding myself in a precarious place and I think I need to make some changes. My mom called me Sunday morning and I missed her call because I was in another room. So, I call her right back and she says, "Oh I just figured you were in church." Trying to sidestep the guilt trip, I quickly rebuff, "Psshh, nawl I ain't been to church in over a year," like that makes any kind of sense, or is a good thing to say. My mother (a non-church goer herself) decides to crush my pinky toe and asks,
I take serious issue with the way churches have been operating. They are soridiculous ghetto trifling ratchet unbecoming of Christ. I am a firm believer in doing things decently and in order. There have been too many services that I've wanted to literally walk out of shaking my head. It is entirely too hard to find a church that meets all my picky needs. Lemme lay out some of my church must-haves so y'all can understand:
"Are you and God not friends anymore?"I continued to sidestep the guilty feelings laughing it off, but inside I was *wall sliding*. I am very aware of my straying away from the church and my reasons are plenty. At first, it was because I did not have transportation to carry me to the church of my choosing. Then, it was my frustration with the churches I was attending and their incessant foolishness. Now, it has become a habit to not even consider going to church at all unless I'm singing with RD. I was not raised in the church, by any means, but for the last dozen years it has been a staple of my life, hence my mother's concern.
I take serious issue with the way churches have been operating. They are so
- A great music ministry - choir, worship team, and soloists whose sole job in the church is music (1 Chronicles 9:33). The music ministry is so important. When operating properly it should be like this:
"And all the Levites who were singers--all of those of Asaph, Heman, and Jeduthun, with their sons and kinsmen, arrayed in fine linen, having cymbals, harps, and lyres--stood at the east end of the altar, and with them 120 priests blowing trumpets; And when the trumpeters and singers were joined in unison, making one sound to be heard in praising and thanking the Lord, and when they lifted up their voice with the trumpets and cymbals and other instruments for song and praised the Lord, saying, For He is good, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever, then the house of the Lord was filled with a cloud, So that the priests could not stand to minister because of the cloud, for the glory of the Lord filled the house of God." (2 Chronicles 5:12-14 NASB)
- An educated and proven leader - Not someone who feels called and doesn't want to earn a leadership position so they start their own church. 2 Timothy 2:15 says to "study to show yourself approved." If you haven't been properly educated in the faith, how can you educate others?
- An orderly run service - the focus ought to be on God. Not social activities, not announcements, not celebrating the men/women/children/deacons/mothers. That is not the purpose of church! Do that ish afterward. Print it in the bulletin. Stop wasting my time. Also, I'm all for growing in the gifts of the Spirit. But 1 Corinthians 14 tells you that folk WILL try to make the focus on them and not on God. (An educated leader will not allow such disrespect in the house.)
- Adequate space and decoration - OK so this seems like a non-biblical reason, but I have a pet peeve about the layout of the Temple. God was quite specific when he told the Hebrews how to build the Temple. You gotta have room to operate. I shouldn't have to walk through the band pit to use the bathroom. And as for decoration, some churches go too far with promoting the pastor. I done seen whole wall murals of the pastor and first lady, but can't find any sign of Jesus.
- A booming youth ministry - Kids are distracting. They make too much noise. Take them aside and let them learn about Jesus on their level. Best ones I've seen were at Seeds of Greatness in DE and Cornerstone Community Church in SC. When I say booming, I mean growing. If kids enjoy church, they will stay with it. And they will be the future leaders.
- Diversity - I've been to plenty of churches that are all black or all white. Not bad places, but it is not that hard to blend, y'all!! Shake off the traditional mindset and open yourself up to a new experience. If you are not open to diversity then you aren't really familiar with Jesus and His way of thinking. He welcomes everyone to the table, so if your service is only focused on your cultural preference, step it up!
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Find me online...
I am realizing that I have a serious web presence and I need to put it to good use. Let's network!! Here are all the places you can find me online:
- Twitter - philothea_ks
- Facebook - philothea.ks
- MySpace - philothea_ks (I rarely use this LOL)
- Tumblr - philothea.tumblr.com (I'm new to this one)
- Google - philothea.ks
- www.kakemix.com/jerseygirl (the podcast)
- YouTube - siskim621
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