What's In a Name?

I've accumulated quite a few nicknames over the years. I think it would be fun to try to identify them and their origin. This will probably give you a little TMI though, so if you don't want to know too much, don't read this LOL.

• Kimmer, Kimber Doodles - these are names my parents and siblings call me.
• Kimbo - I got this one in 3rd or 4th grade because my brother went through a "Rambo" stage where he would dress and act like Rambo at school.
• Fly Girl - no not because I could dance (ie. In Living Color), but because my friend Kelly took a pic of me with my zipper open.
• Sainberg - My high school yearbook advisor called me this. It's a combo of my and my assistant editor's last names.
• Chicken - My best girls in high school and I were driving to a friends house when I saw chickens running around in someone's yard. I stopped the car and yelled out "Chicken!" It stuck.
• Lil Kim - obviously when she came out, I adopted this persona for a few years
• Miss Kim - when I started going to church all the kids called me this. Apparently this is church speak.
• White Woman -my friend Ken called me this when I was the only "white woman" on the gospel choir and at our church.
• Mom - need I say more? This is prolly my fave cuz I definitely earned it. I am proof that you do not have to give birth to be a parent.
• Aunt Kim - my God-kids and nieces and nephews all call me this
• Nyquil - A guy I dated called me this cuz I always put him to sleep.
• Trouble - again, self-explanatory lol
• Sitter - my sister calls me this, prolly cuz it sounds cuter than sister.
• Sweets, Buttercup - A guy I dated called me these cuz I guess I'm sweet.
• Ray Allen - A friend called me this cuz I always come through with the clutch shot
• Kimmie Kim Kim - two guys I dated call me that. No idea why LOL
• Kim Kim Kachew - another creative spin on my name.
• Satan - my brother thinks our last name sounds like this so he calls me by it LOL

This is just off the top of my head. I am pretty sure there are a few I am forgetting. And prolly a few I am not aware of as well LOL.

What are some of your favorite nicknames??

Lord, Make Me Over...

One of the most powerful songs I've experienced (yes, it is an experience) in my spiritual life is Tonex's "Make Me Over". (Click on the link to see the live performance.) It tugs at the heart strings of anyone who recognizes their shortcomings and wants to do better. I have never sung along with him and not cried. He truly has a gift.

However, in a recent article by Kelefa Sanneh for "The New Yorker" Tonex is interviewed and they discuss his admission to being gay. Few were shocked by this clarification on his lifestyle. He has obvious (stereotypical) tendencies that always made me wonder about his preference. Also, homosexuality has become rampant in the church and gospel music industry. This presents a dual issue for me (experience vs beliefs) and leaves me feeling confused.

From my personal experience, I know and love many folk that are gay or lesbian. I don't treat them any differently because of the lifestyle they live or who they choose to love. They are cool in my book. (They also deserve all the legal rights as everyone else in the country. This country was founded on the separation of church and state so the government should stop making laws that violate that principle -- that's another blog in itself.) I have explored my own bi-sexual curiosity before so I understand some of what they are going through.

From my Christian worldview, however, I believe that the Bible is true and there are three specific passages (Leviticus 18, Romans 1 and 1 Corinthians 6) that talk about sexual acts including adultery, incest, and "men laying with men as with a woman" as being sins. These are things we ought not to do as children of God. The latter is not a law or commandment though. As Christians, we are expected to follow the two commandments cited by Jesus in Mark 12:28-31 as they encompass all the previous OT laws/commands. Depending on your personal relationship with God, there may be specific things you should or should not do that would be considered a sin in your life.

I know what it is like to struggle with sexual sin, to live a lifestyle not worthy of your calling. We all fall short of the glory of God, so I dare not judge anyone. However, when you are involved in ministry and church leadership, you need to live the life you preach. The news is riddled with scandalous pastors and leaders having affairs, gambling, doing drugs and molesting children. It makes the church look like a joke. Personally I refuse to be involved in leadership if I am struggling with something so serious. (And by struggle, I mean consistently doing the same thing with no desire to change. I don't mean slipping up two or three times a year.)

In the world of gospel music, talent isn't enough. The premise of this genre is that it is music rendered unto God as an act of praise and/or worship. It is not to be entertaining in the same sense as secular music, but it's purpose is to draw the listener closer to God. To quote my friend Jon,

"It is not like sports or other forms of music, where you can be talented and your musical face be your alter ego. Your life and music or gift have to be one in the same."

Music is often more powerful than the sermon. In Biblical times, the musicians were a part of the Levitical tribe of priests. They were sent out before the soldiers in war. There is power in godly music. (There is similar power in all types of music to stir your emotions.) Between the lyrics and the instruments music connects with your soul on so many levels. I've been singing with gospel choirs for 12+ years now. I can honestly say that gospel music helped me through some of my darkest hours. Whether you are singing or being sung to, the music affects you if you allow God to move.

So, back to the issue at hand. According to my beliefs, homosexuality is a sin similar to adultery and incest. Like any other sin, it can be avoided and overcome. Donnie McClurkin, an even bigger star in gospel music, spoke in November 2009 at the COGIC convention and shared that he was delivered from homosexuality. This caused quite a stir on Twitter and in blogs as folk condemned him for his preaching. But I must agree with him. In my own experience, the more I focus on God and his calling on my life, the less I am distracted by sinful desires.

I do have a point in this blog. I asked my friend Brian to help me identify it and he says,

"you basically said you understand struggle, but when someone makes a choice that they're gonna take on a lifestyle opposite of biblical teachings, they then ought not be in a Christian leadership role because it confuses folk and ain't right for followers."

Yes, that is exactly what I am trying to say. I hope that is clear. I know I am not God and my opinion is only valid to those who know and love me. But I was married to a minister once. When his slip ups became a full-blown struggle and he wanted to continue being a leader, I saw first hand how screwed up that can leave people, including myself. It just doesn't work. No one will ever be 100% perfect, so I advise against waiting until you think you are perfect to pursue your calling. But do be mindful that as a Christian leader you are held to a higher standard by God and by man. If you find fault in anything I've said, pray that the "Lord make me over..."